Love Beyond Walls
Nadia’s* father was incarcerated for nine years in the early 2000s. His arrest took place when his daughter was only six years old. Nadia was very attached to her father when she was a toddler, always hold his pinkies tightly with her hands. She was also the apple of his eye, and he brought her along everywhere he went.
When Notle was apprehended, Nadia experienced a sudden lost. She couldn’t express how she felt. Her temperament changed and she would find herself crying and screaming for no reasons, lashing out at everyone that came along.
“I yearned to see my daughter again”
During Notle’s first few years of incarceration, he didn’t see his daughter. He missed her so much and yearned to see her once again. Worried about her, he tirelessly looked for help to arrange for his daughter to visit him in prison. He exhausted every means but, to no avail, he would often meet with a closed door. It was only after three years that he managed to get into contact with the Kids In Play programme (KIP). KIP is The Salvation Army’s support services for children of incarcerated parents. Through KIP, Notle and his daughter were finally able to reunite and see each other!
The reunion
The social workers in KIP journeyed with Nadia and her father throughout his incarceration. In the first few years of Notle’s release, it wasn’t a bed of roses. Nadia would often push her father away and screamed at him. The tension was so severe that it left Notle feeling lost and helpless. He started doubting if she, the daughter whom he longed to see when he was in prison, would ever want him in her life again.
Acceptance, time and understanding can heal relationships.
“I had changed from idolising my father as a young child to a period of just seeing him in a bad light. Through counselling and workshops (provided by KIP), I gradually learnt that even when we disagree, there is enough desire to get to know my father all over again. I have also learnt that it is okay to express my feelings as that will help me manage them better,” said Nadia. “Acceptance, time and understanding can heal relationships.”
Rebecca Tan, Centre Manager at Kids In Play, explains, “For children of ex-offenders, KIP is a programme that is much more than playing with children. It is about giving one of the most overlooked groups – incarcerated persons and their families a second chance to build closer bonds and bridge the gaps brought about by incarceration.”
To date, TSA has helped 656 ex-offenders, supported 612 of their caregivers and families, and impacted 1188 of their children. (Figures as at 10 March 2023)
